


My Ass Is Great But It Ain't My Best Asset

by ashilrak



Series: 177(6) [29]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 21:14:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7454188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashilrak/pseuds/ashilrak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morelikedamnilton: @jdotlaw why did i see you trying to break into the humanities building at 2 in the morning</p><p>Angelsky: why were you walking past the humanities building at 2 in the morning @morelikedamnilton</p><p>Morelikedamnilton: I was bringing alex food because he was in the library</p><p>Angelsky: @jdotlaw i also want to know</p><p>Jdotlaw: I HAD TO POKEGO</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Ass Is Great But It Ain't My Best Asset

**Author's Note:**

> Reincarnation is normal in this verse
> 
> John Laurens = Jonathan Lawrence = Jdotlaw  
> Hercules Mulligan = Hercules Mueller = Tailorsoldierspy  
> Lafayette = Paul Motier = Lagayette  
> James Madison = James Mercury = Mamjer  
> Aaron Burr = Aaron Alston = Colderthancold  
> Angelica Schuyler = Angel Skylar = Angelsky  
> Elizabeth "Eliza" Hamilton nee Schuyler = Elizabeth "Lizzie" Skylar = Morelikedamnilton  
> Maria Reynolds = Maria Nelson = NelsonMa  
> Theodosia Prevost Burr = Theodora "Dori" Bercer = DoriBer  
> Thomas Jefferson = Thomas Jemmings = Tomjemmings

**Morelikedamnilton: @jdotlaw** why did i see you trying to break into the humanities building at 2 in the morning

 **Angelsky:** why were you walking past the humanities building at 2 in the morning **@morelikedamnilton**

 **Morelikedamnilton:** I was bringing alex food because he was in the library

 **Angelsky: @jdotlaw** i also want to know

 **Jdotlaw:** I HAD TO POKEGO

 **Adotfightme:** but why did u have to go into the building for that

 **Jdotlaw:** BC I NEEDED TO CATCH CHARMANDER

 **Adotfightme:** but like doesn’t it just happen automatically

 **Tomjemmings:** N O

 **Tomjemmings:** it takes serious effort and skill man

 **Adotfightme:** no? it doesn’t?

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** have u actually caught any pokemon

 **Adotfightme:** i have like fifty

 **Jdotlaw:** then u caught them

 **Adotfightme:** No? I just have the app open and then when I look at it later they’re there???

 **Tomjemmings:** that’s not how the game works hamilton

 **Angelsky:** yeah, it takes thomas here a lot more effort to attempt to reach my level

 **Tomjemmings:** excuse me i think it’s you trying to reach MY level

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** omg alex do u make ur secret service catch the pokemon

 **Adotfightme:** i don’t make them do anything ? ? ? also secret service?????????

 **Colderthancold:** The people that constantly surround you…

 **Adotfighme:** have we talked about this before

 **Jdotlaw:** probably

 **Nelsonma:** Okay so back to pokemon go **@jdotlaw** u can’t break into buildings for pokemon

 **Jdotlaw:** why not

 **Nelsonma:** it’ll reflect poorly on gwash

 **Jdotlaw:** i’m not doing anything for him in an official capacity tho

 **Doriber:** ur existence is helping him in an official capacity

 **Jdotlaw** he’s not even doing anything yet though in an official capacity

 **Doriber:** point still stands

 **Jdotlaw:** u g h

 **Adotfightme:** guys no one’s here h e l p

 **Morelikedamnilton:** ur alone???

 **Adotfightme:** n o

 **Mamjer:** thomas is with u isn’t he? Also ur secret service??

 **Adotfightme:** jeffers is off catching pokemon

 **Angelsky: @tomjemmings** omg u need to stay with alex

 **Adotfightme:** no he doesn’t ???

 **Tomjemmings: @angelsky** u just want to have an advantage and more time to catch pokemon

 **Angelsky:** i literally am going to be trading places with you in like an hour

 **Adotfightme:** why is this scheduled

 **Doriber:** accept it

 **Adotfightme:** why aren’t u on the schedule; i don't think i've ever been with you without burr

 **Doriber: @colderthancold** doesn’t trust me to be alone with you

 **Adotfightme:** i have more self-control than that

 **Morelikedamnilton:** debatable

 **Doriber:** not if i’m the one initiating you won’t

 **Nelsonma:** daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn guuurl

 **Doriber:** :-)

 **Tomjemmings:** okay but back to the matter at hand

 **Tomjemmings:** there is no way **@angelsky** is not trying to get an advantage her with pokemon

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** she doesn’t need an advantage? She’s already better than you

 **Angelsky:** <3 **@tailorsoldierspy**

 **Tomjemmings:** Angelica is truly angelic in all ways, pokemon has to be the one thing I have over her

 **Angelsky: @tomjemmings** ur compliments make me uncomfortable pls stop

 **Tomjemmings:** it’s bc ur a girl isn’t it

 **Nelsonma:** WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

 **Tomjemmings:** absolutely nothing

 **Morelikedamnilton:** don’t even breach that topic **@tomjemmings** she’s literally had this argument prepared since before I met alex

 **Tomjemmings:** what do u mean

 **Angelsky:** WOMEN’S SUFFRAGE BEE-OTCH

 **Tomjemmings:** YOU CAN VOTE THOUGH

 **Tomjemmings:** I WAS MAKING A JOKE. I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING AGAINST WOMEN’S SUFFRAGE. I AM A FEMINIST GOD DAMMIT

 **Tomjemmings:** YOU LITERALLY JUST VOTED THE OTHER DAY

 **Angelsky:** SURE I CAN VOTE NOW

 **Angelsky:** BUT WANT TO KNOW WHAT I COULDN’T DO BEFORE

 **Angelsky:** FUCKIGN VOTE

 **Adotfightme: @tomjemmmings** prepare to get R O A S T E D

 **Angelsky:** WOMEN'S’ LIVES SUCKED

 **Nelsonma:** yeaH THEY DID

 **Tomjemmings:** bUT WHY

 **Morelikedamilton:** u asked for this, just remember that

 **Angelsky:** I remember my life and the strife  
as a good wife I once faced long ago  
I remember my dearest spouse  
Not giving me the respect I was owed  
I remember my sisters red-eyed  
As I kissed my siblings and rode  
Far away only to return years later  
Why was this the code  
Following my husband; leaving our home  
Without my sisters my life was monochrome  
I wanted to roam; but couldn’t roam

 **Tomjemmings:** you’re not in a dome…  
You strike me, as a woman who answers how and not why  
So why do you speak as if you need a key, darling  
You are free, to you I will not lie, falsify  
You know you are free to fly high  
My name was Thomas Jefferson  
But you knew that, my friend  
You made do with the  
Few resources you had; beauty and endless charisma  
It has changed, it has changed

 **Angelsky:** No no no  
You’re trying to tell me that things have changed  
You might have a point, but not enough has been exchanged  
To be equal would be a blissful dream  
It seems extreme to a cat with the cream  
But I still dream  
Of women receiving equal pay; actual equal pay  
Dream of walking down the street in peace, I know  
It seems like it can’t be that dreadful  
Even now you seem to be quite a bit doubtful, after  
All it’s such a small thing to be that harmful  
It has too much pull, puts our lives in danger  
Walk down the street without getting an earful  
That, and you know, equal pay, then I will be grateful  
Pull the wool from your eyes my man  
Learn instead of getting high man  
I really just want to educate you all  
But it’s just like talking to a wall, so it’s

 **Morelikedamnilton:** useless

 **Angelsky:** So I realized  
I really have to break it down for you guys

 **Tomjemmings:** You’re saying we’re stupid  
Just because we are men  
It just seems to be cliche

 **Angelsky:** Problem 1:  
We’re not given enough respect  
For our achievements and intellect  
To get half we have to work twice as hard  
And we must always be on guard  
Of being played like a marionette we cannot forget  
That men see us as a threat  
They’re not ready for us yet  
My ass is great but it ain’t my best asset

 **Tomjemmings:** Now I’m not saying your mind isn’t hella sharp  
You’re smart, sweetheart

 **Angelsky:** Problem 2:  
Harassment is an issue to confront  
Something that’s far from pleasant  
We mustn't ignore its abhorrence  
Don’t be a participant;find the counter stimulant  
It’s repugnant  
Instead of violent be transparent  
Or prepare to face the full brunt

 **Tomjemmings:You** know what, you’re right, take swing  
Before, I did some bad things  
If I said otherwise, I’d be lying  
Bring on the slaying

 **Angelsky:** Problem 3:  
We are all hurt by the patriarchy  
Simply, we are put in roles and we should be angry  
No more being offended by aesthetic abnormalities  
Victory  
Will soon be achieved  
Help us succeed  
The gist is I’m a feminist  
Real life suffragist  
But am not some misandrist  
I insist, if you’re not a sadist,  
Misogynist  
In a twist, you could join and assist  
If you resist, the point has been missed

 **Tomjemmings:** are you done

 **Angelsky:** yes

 **Adotfightme:** that was beautiful, i’m shedding a real life tear

 **Tomjemmings:** I’m feeling the need to defend myself by saying that I am a real life feminist

 **Mamjer:** he is, he goes to protests and volunteers at women’s shelter and abortion clinics and stuff

 **Angelsky:** g o o d

 **Angelsky:** because you were once the scum of the fucking earth

 **Tomjemmings:** you’re not wrong

 **Nelsonma: @angelsky** can i quote that for an essay or something

 **Angelsky:** OF COURSE YOU CAN !!!

 **Nelsonma:** thx babe

 **Angelsky:** :-)

 **Doriber:** ok but real talk how can u type that fast

 **Morelikedamnilton:** she was doing voice to text

 **Tomjemmings:** CHEATER

 **Angelsky:** no it’s called using my resources

 **Tomjemmings:** u g h

 **Jdotlaw:** remind me to never get into even a fake argument with angelica

 **Tailorsoldierspy:** i feel like if u forget and piss her off enough u deserve what u get

 **Lagayette:** #tru

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a text post by airbender-aangst on tumblr about angelica and tjeffs getting in a rap battle about feminism  
> I don't know why I decided it needed to be set to satisfied, I want to personally apologize to LMM for this butchering of his masterpiece
> 
> 177(6) News:  
> \-----The fandub audition date has been extended to July 17th, so if you are interested  
> \----------http://donosservatore.tumblr.com/  
> \-----You can now buy a #gwar4prez iphone 6 phone case if you have some cash to burn  
> \----------http://www.zazzle.com/gwar4prez_phonecase_barely_there_iphone_6_case-179640184108693000
> 
> Me News:  
> \-----Here is a picture of Hamlet (my new puppy) his is super smol and I love him  
> \----------https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B28nCRCPw9jedUpUZ1M4Njc2TXM/view?usp=sharing
> 
> I really hope you liked this! But even if you didn't, I would love to know what you think!!!
> 
> <3 <3 <3 <3 <3


End file.
